A relationship or marriage without sex

A relationship or marriage without sex is more common than you think. 1 in 5 couples suffer from this and often do not know how to deal with the problems. It is important to find the right cause before your relationship or marriage breaks down. Relationship, money and physical problems are the most common causes.

More men with little sex drive

How often do you hear a woman complain about her sexless relationship? Almost never! For most women it is very difficult to talk about this. It is also difficult if your husband is no longer very intimate with you. Women always take this very personally and quickly think that it is their fault instead of talking about it and possibly seeking help. About 20% of all couples in a committed relationship have little or no sex. And to my surprise, these are more often men than women, who no longer feel like doing this with their partner.

The causes of a sexless relationship

What are the possible reasons for that man’s sexless feeling? The first thing you have to keep telling yourself is that it’s not because of you. It’s not because you gained a few pounds. It’s not because you don’t like sex toys. And certainly not because of who you are. Understood! There are possible reasons for your husband to have less or no sex in your relationship:

Money and work problems

A man can become depressed very easily if things are not going well at work. Let alone if he has recently been fired and is sitting at home unemployed. If a man cannot support his family, he often feels like a lesser person, meaning that things like sex are no longer in the first place (let alone in the top 10). Especially now, this is becoming more and more common, and will often be the number 1 cause for a sexless relationship.

Physical problems

Causes such as working too long, not exercising enough or drinking too much alcohol are major problems that can cause you to have less or no desire for sex. Your husband is not having an affair, and your relationship is stronger than ever before. Yet there is little to no sex in the relationship. This can be due to diabetes, stress, low testosterone levels, heart problems, Parkinson’s, chronic pain and more. The causes of this are too little exercise, too long working days or too much alcohol in your husband’s life.

Unresolved relationship issues

If you often have relationship problems and are only arguing between the two of you, this can prevent you from having sex. If he comes home every day and sees you every angry or unhappy, he will not be attracted to you. But this isn’t your fault. You will probably be angry or unhappy because you have a good reason for it. And the only way to solve this is to talk about it together and possibly seek professional help before it is too late.


Unfortunately, if a man suddenly no longer wants to have sex with you, he is having an affair with someone else. This often happens very quickly and is not a slow process that still has to develop. If you have the feeling that he is cheating on you with someone else and at the same time the sex between the two of you is also less, then you can almost 100% assume that he has someone else. You could monitor his banking or credit card activities to find out. There is almost always something to be found there and you do not have to immediately hire a private detective.

Other common causes

There are more reasons why your husband no longer feels like having sex, so do not avoid these problems. Talk about this and try to find a solution together. Other causes include:

  • A need for control or punishment
  • A way to have power over you
  • Anger
  • Past sexual abuse
  • Too long working days
  • Working too hard with a lot of stress
  • The use of drugs, medicines and/or alcohol


Don’t avoid the problem

Sex and intimacy are an important part of your relationship. Don’t avoid the problem, because the problem won’t go away on its own. Remember for yourself that you are not the only woman with this problem and that there is always a reason for the low sex content. The best medicine is always to talk about it and seek professional help before it is too late. Do not wait to long!

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