Improving your relationship

How do you improve the relationship you are in now? That is sometimes easier said than done. A dormant relationship can cause a lot of danger and ultimately even lead to divorce or separation. Laziness, arguments and denial are the main causes of the deterioration of a relationship or marriage. Keep your relationship exciting and make sure you both have goals in life. That will do the relationship a lot of good.

No relationship is perfect!

No relationship is perfect! Every relationship needs repairs every now and then so that it stays healthy and on the right track. But not only that is necessary. The couple in the relationship will need to be kept clean in new ways, because the relationship and your life as a person has changed since it started.

A dormant relationship

As much as we want to keep our relationship happy and exciting, that is simply not a realistic thought. You may have a lot in common with your partner. Yet it is very important that you know that you are 2 different people, each with his/her own purpose, passion and desires in life. You will not always think the same about everything and that can cause conflict in the relationship. One or both of you may become lazy in the relationship at some point, resulting in him or both not putting enough time and effort into the relationship when it matters most. Does this mean that your partner no longer cares about your relationship? Probably not, but that does mean that you have to wake the person up and step out of this comfortable zone and then do his/her best. This way, your relationship will get back into the right shape.

How do you improve your relationship?

The following reasons are the most common ways we can pollute our relationship with a lot of negative things. How do we approach these ways in the relationship? What are the solutions to improve a relationship and keep it healthy?

1. Laziness

It has been mentioned before, laziness is an important reason why a relationship can fail. Laziness is no one’s friend. It stops you from achieving your goals, which can make you feel completely happy. Just as laziness can affect you in your studies and work, it can also damage your relationship or marriage. It is very natural that you and your partner will eventually feel very comfortable (and therefore lazy) in your relationship. The more time you spend together, the more relaxed you will become towards each other. Farting in bed, picking your nose, openly yawning and belching is something you shouldn’t have thought about at the beginning of your relationship, but now it’s suddenly the most normal thing in the world. Unfortunately, it can sometimes also be TOO relaxed and too comfortable in your relationship. If you stay in this comfort zone for too long, you risk eventually seeing the end of your relationship coming.
The solution : If the relationship is already in the comfort zone of laziness, then you both want to get up and get active! Let your partner know that you are still in love with him/her. Let us know what you like and share it with the other person, so that they can perhaps do something with it. Find new places/things that you can do together, invent new hobbies and actively pursue them. Share this with your partner. It doesn’t have to be something big, as long as you both participate in it together to keep your relationship thriving.

2. Arguments

Arguing is not really the cause of the relationship getting worse, but rather the way you argue. Arguments are very important for a relationship because it brings you closer together. By conflicting with each other you let the other person know that you disagree, and that is also a form of communication. Through arguments, you and your partner learn more about each other, allowing you to perfect yourself and the other person and thus gain more respect for each other. Arguing can make a relationship stronger and healthier, if you argue in the right way.
The Solution : First, you’ll need to understand that arguing isn’t always a bad thing. Try to remember this until you really understand it, so that if you end up in an argument with your partner, you don’t immediately start to take a defensive role. Try to go into the argument with a clean mind and try to resolve it instead of getting into a fight. Try to understand the other person’s thoughts and express this. You will see that the other person becomes calmer. Understanding each other is very essential in an argument. And perhaps often also the solution.

3. Denial

Denial is a major polluter of the relationship. Many of us still think that there is nothing wrong and that everything is going well or will be fine in the relationship. This makes us blind to all the truths around us. Every relationship has problems that create pain and anger in the other. If you deny this, the relationship will only get into further trouble.
The solution : Be realistic and accept that in a relationship you will encounter both a lot of love and a lot of problems. Try to understand that if you have an argument it does not mean that you no longer love each other, so that you do not enter the denial phase too quickly. When a problem arises, you try to solve it together with your partner and do not avoid it.

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